Bring/s (I bring, he/she brings)
Brought (I brought, he/she brought)
Brought (I have/had brought, he/she have/had brought)

What is wrong with this picture? Think about it for a moment.

It just occurred to me, after a 3-mile noon run in the park (heat-stroke delirium notwithstanding), that it is high time to instigate a revolution. No, not Tea Party style. Something much more substantial…verbal communication.

Here is my first suggestion:

Bring
Brang
Brung

Did you bring enough money? Sure, I brang a hundred dollars.
Have you brung an umbrella? Nope, this is Arizona. (You get the idea.)

Look, E.B. White’s style manual, with its vast array of rules on grammar, etc., is just a foil. Old E.B. himself ignored his own rules for the sake of writing more effectively (i.e., communicating better).

So what if 95% of all person to person communication is nonverbal.

I’m just feeling a little rebellious today. I want to start a grammar revolution (grammatical revolution?). Anybody with me? I’m accepting all suggestions. If the dictionary keepers can approve new words every year in response to popular usage (e.g., ‘ginormous’ …yes, really), then the grammar keepers can change, too. It starts with us Grass Rooters, folks.

For the new Grass Rooters Party,

Dennis

Some random thoughts attacked my mind last night while I was at the ASU game against Portland State. I had not been in Sun Devil Stadium in more than a year, and I had forgotten about the quaint urinal troughs that are still in use in all of the men’s rooms there.

To think that games at this stadium have been the center of national attention – national championship games, a Super Bowl – and all the while the attending patrons were faced with such quaintness as urinal troughs.

On one hand, modern urinal courtesy is like an 11th commandment (Man Law?): Thou shalt not acknowledge the other guy next to you. Jimmy Kimmel made great fun of this commandment with his skit on the old Man Show, in which he would start a lengthy conversation with the guy at the next urinal. The most common reaction was disgust. Those zealots!

This may have something to with our cultural attitude about urinating outdoors, too. It violates city ordinances all around the Phoenix area, and getting caught gets a citation and a fine of a couple hundred bucks (or so I am told).

On the other hand, a more practical attitude these days is represented by the outdoor urinals in merry old England. These outdoor fixtures are found opposite the Charing Cross Railway Station in London, U.K. Identical fixtures may be found in Leidsplein Square in Amsterdam.

I have lots and lots more thoughts on this topic. However, I wanted to keep this brief and tasteful. Besides, I am getting a little sugar rush from my breakfast waffles right now, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for any foggy-headed foolishness that I might write at the moment.

Besides, I think it is time for a nap.

All the best,

Dennis